In honor of the National Son and Daughter Day, I am going to share the birth story of my first little guy, who decided to come early at 36 weeks and 4 days.
I feel the need to start this by saying that I had moved states about three weeks prior to having my son. My recent activities included unpacking a house, sealing grout, setting up a nursery, and generally working on lots of stuff. Even afterwards my midwives didn’t know why I went into labor early. I guess he was just ready to be out and about!
Woke up feeling “off”
I was 36 weeks plus 4 days long. In my mind I had weeks to go. My in-laws were in town for a company party and were staying at our house. I woke up like normal on a Saturday. There was slight cramping and a general achy feeling as I started to move around. So as my husband headed out for a run, I grabbed a small snack, some water, and headed back to bed to let my body relax. I dozed on and off for 30-60 minutes.
At that point I got up to shower and get ready for my day. Showering always helps. I noticed spotting and some fluid (spoiler alert, it was my water breaking). There wasn’t any concern at this point, I was merely keeping an eye on things. My main thought was that if I did go into labor, I would 3 days shy of 37 weeks, which meant I wouldn’t be able to deliver at my birthing center. I ate a few donuts that my in-laws had gone to get and I climbed back into bed.
Around 9 AM my husband and his mom started to get concerned about me. Joey thought I knew I was in labor and was simply not telling him. I’m not sure why I would have hidden that from him. I assured him I would tell him if I was in actual labor. At this point I was still 100% sure I was NOT in labor. So much experience to base that thought on, right?
I decided to call my midwife and check in. Since it was the weekend, I left a voicemail for the midwife on call. I had never met her because I had only been to ONE check up in town so far. She called right back and we discussed my symptoms. She told me to eat something again and lay down. Neither of us were very concerned, so she said she would check on me after about an hour when she got back from an errand.
When the midwife called back around 10:30, I was feeling slightly better from resting, and I was no longer spotting. We decided it was nothing to worry about and to just go about my day. And of course call her if anything else happened.
As the day progressed, my husband and his father went about installing ceiling fans in the bedrooms. All rooms in Texas need ceiling fans y’all! The cramping persisted. In hindsight I guess they were coming in waves, but I didn’t make the connection. They were kind of always there, but they would get lighter or stronger. So eventually I went back to bed.
That Afternoon…
Some time after 1 PM, everyone got hungry. I did not feel comfortable going with them. I was worried that I would get there and the cramping would increase and I would be miserable. So I stayed home while they headed to eat. I decided to change things up and take a bath with epsom salts. The warm water felt amazing, and I got my first real relief all day. I soaked for quite a while until the cramping started coming back. Then I laid back in bed for a bit.
The family arrived back at the house around 3 PM, with food for me to eat. Eating really seemed to help me feel better. My husband and his dad continued on the ceiling fans. I was starting to get exhausted from the constant throbbing of the cramping. My husband and mother-in-law started to worry about me again.
Around 4 PM I called the midwife again. She still didn’t seem concerned, but said we could meet to check on things. I decided I should at least check things out to make everyone less concerned, so we agreed to meet at the birth center at 5:15.
On the way to the center the cramping got worse. I don’t know if it was just ramping up, or if my body was angry at being stationary in a car. It was NOT a fun ride. Once at the center, I gently walked across the porch waiting for the midwife. Then inside she had me take a quick test to rule out a urinary tract infection and we went to the exam room to wait for the results.
At about 5:30, Leslie, the midwife, walked in and said the test was negative. She also said, “You don’t look like someone in labor.” I laughed and agreed that that was what I kept thinking. Hindsight. Denial is great.
We walked through my symptoms again and decided everything was fine, but that she would do an exam just to check things. After a quick, but uncomfortable check, she said, “Well! You ARE in labor! You are 4 cm dilated and your water has broken, because all I can see is baby’s hair!”
So much for our “not in labor” opinions.
Now we had to discuss options. I was only 36 weeks and 4 days along, so I couldn’t deliver at the center. I was upset, and I needed to wrap my head around a hospital birth pretty quickly, and that scared me. Thankfully, Leslie was one of the midwives that had privileges at Baylor McKinney, so she could be there with me. She told me that they were very supportive of natural birth if that was how I still wanted to give birth. She told us there was no rush to get to the hospital. We should just get there around 3-4 hours later (roughly 8:30-9:30). So we headed home to pack our bags.
Baby is coming!
As we drove home we called family in Kansas to let them know what was going on. My husband got ahold of my sister and handed me the phone to tell her the news JUST as a contraction hit. It was already difficult to talk through. I may have glared at my husband.
At home my husband continued to put up the last fan with his dad while I threw a bag together. Contractions quickly escalated and got much closer together. I decided to time them and they were about 3 minutes apart. They were also a lot more difficult to work through and I would have to stop what I was doing. I remember being on the floor in my room and hollering across the house to my husband that we needed to get going, now.
We hopped into the car with my MIL. Laboring in a car is NOT fun. When a contraction hits, you don’t really have the ability to move or shift to help with the intensity. I was grabbing on to things and holding tight, and praying for all green lights and people to speed.
We arrived at the hospital just after 7. We popped into the ER door as my MIL parked the car. I told them I was in labor and my midwife had told me to come here due to being early. They signed me in, grabbed a wheel chair, and took me upstairs. I remember the guy wheeling me up asking the name of my midwife multiple times, and I was getting progressively frustrated with him. I could answer questions while in labor, but he couldn’t remember a name for 10 feet? Labor may have made me a tad moody.
In the delivery room it was a whirl of getting the room ready, getting me checked in, since I had never been there, and me pacing about through contractions. They did a pelvic exam and declared me 7+ cm dilated. My midwife hadn’t arrived yet, but a midwife in training was there on duty as a nurse and asked to stay for the delivery. I answered medical history questions as best I could while working through pretty consistent contractions. I remember thinking that my “tone” sounded angry, but also not having the energy to try to fix it at the time.
Every time I found a position to help with contractions, it wouldn’t work for the next one, so I was just constantly shifting. I kept thinking how I had been told there would be areas in between contractions to rest and build up energy. All day I had had a constant, dull pain humming though me, and it had exhausted me. I was also really hot and sweating, and that made me feel worse. They turned the thermostat down as far as they could and gave a wet washcloth. I was still uncomfortably hot.
Everyone kept telling me that I didn’t have long to go, and I kept wondering what their concept of “not long” really meant.
Eventually, Leslie arrived. I started feeling pressure and the urge to push. My midwives told me to do what felt right for me. I ended up at the foot of the hospital bed, kneeling on the floor, with my face planted in the bedding. I began pushing with each contraction. My husband tried to hold my hand, but I couldn’t handle the added heat, so I pulled away. I was in my own world mentally, and couldn’t explain to him. Thankfully one of the midwives told him not to take it personally, that I was just an independent laborer. I’m not sure if they eased him or not.
Pushing was definitely difficult for me. I couldn’t quite get a feel for what I was doing. The midwife told me I would eventually hit a wall where I felt like I couldn’t do it (as did basically every book I had ever read), but that I would have to push past that wall. That definitely happened. Mental hurdles can be rough!
Baby started to feel lower, and I felt like I was SO close. When the midwife asked if I wanted to feel my progress, I was all for it. Once I did, though, I realized that he wasn’t nearly as far out as I thought. That was a little defeating. So the next time they asked I said no. I didn’t want to psych myself out.
I pushed with all that I had, but once a contraction would end, I would feel like I could no longer push. It was a constant feeling of two steps forward and one step back. The midwives continued to encourage me that I was almost there. Again, I wondered about their definition.
Finally Here…
Finally, I delivered baby’s head. I pushed out his shoulders and his body rushed out in an instant at 8:55 PM. It was an odd feeling, for sure, but a good one. It was relieving. The midwives caught him as he came out and maneuvered him as I sat up so that I could hold him. They did a quick wipe down of his body as I held him to my chest, and then they helped us into the bed.
Baby stayed on my chest as they checked us both over, my husband cut the cord, and I delivered the placenta. It was all a whirlwind because I was focused on the uncontrollable shaking from all the adrenaline running through my body. It was driving me insane. I knew it was suppose to happen, but that didn’t make me dislike the teeth chattering any less.
I was still in my own little world as my husband updated the family via text, and took a few shots of our new little boy. My midwives stitched me up as we continued our “golden hour.” My FIL went on a burger run for me because I was HUNGRY. We cuddled and visited for a bit, then my in-laws all left for the hotel while I ate.
They took all of his measurements and stats after the golden hour. They also let us hang out in the delivery room for a while after because the room wasn’t needed. There was no rush to change rooms yet. Despite not yet being 37 weeks, baby was strong and healthy, and they saw no need for him to leave my side.
Once we were taken to our recovery room, he slept with me. I could hardly stand to lay him down. We stayed in the hospital for roughly 36 hours, and were discharged Monday morning. We went home to start our first week as parents of a newborn.
There wasn’t a lot of sleep for some time.
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