Having children changes your life, and you yourself, in so many ways. One of the aspects of change that I didn’t think through until after I had kids, was how it would change my understanding of God. I’ve definitely seen God’s love in a new light.
Once I had kids, I suddenly had this whole new outlook on God’s roll in my life, as well as just how patient He is with me on a day to day level. In the everyday struggle of teaching and disciplining (discipling), my boys, I am constantly reminded of my own shortcomings and imperfections. God is still working on me and teaching me, just as I am teaching my kids. He is also using my kids to mold me into the woman that He wants. It’s so eye opening and awe-inspiring to realize how it is all truly interconnected.
God has blessed me with these children. He has entrusted me to steward them and point them in the right direction. His direction. To create arrows to shoot into the world to spread His love. That is a HUGE responsibility. Most days I do not feel up to the task if I’m honest. But that’s just the thing! God isn’t using a finished person to help grow these boys. He’s using a work in progress. And He’s using these boys to help continue that work in progress too. That simple thought is always mind-blowing to me.
I do not have this parenting thing down. Not at all. But it’s in the moments where I reflect on the fact that I’m a work in progress as well, where I realize I am not perfect and neither are they, that I feel like I’m really grasping what I need to be doing as a mother.
Thinking of God as a loving Father takes on new meaning as a parent trying to raise kids. You know the struggle of watching your kids fail or get hurt, of them disobeying and doing things that hurt and anger you, and the joy of watching them succeed. Not only does this thought process help me to give my own kids – and myself really – more grace, but it also convicts me of my own shortcomings with God and our relationship. Something that can always grow. Parenting continually shows me His love and Grace for me. Especially in those moments where I feel like smiting my own children. Those are the bad days.
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