I’ve talked about how having kids has changed my relationship with God, and how it has changed my relationship with myself. Now I’m going to talk about how it’s changed my view on a mother’s love. Specifically when it comes to my own mother.
As a mom, some days are great, some days are ho-hum, a some days are awful. The why’s behind any of those types of days are vast. My attitude, their attitude, weather, sleep, activities, growth, interests, family, outsiders, etc. So much. There is A LOT that goes into making a marriage work. You’re marrying two people from, most likely, very different backgrounds, and they have to learn to coexist without murderous intent. That’s still the case when you add children.
I’ve heard it a million times, and said it myself: kids are our mini-mes. Sometimes that’s pretty rough to admit, and often it’s rough to coexist with. I’ve said multiple times before how my kids are helping me grow as a person. How they reflect behaviors and aspects of my life that I’ve gone blind to and that need some work. They are one more tool that God is using to mold me. And break me a little sometimes too.
I say this, not to scare people. I mean it’s not a BAD thing. Personal growth should be a constant goal for everyone. We will never be perfect, but we can always be growing in a positive direction. No, I say this because parenting does open us up to so much that we probably missed before kids. And it’s amazing.
One of the top people I go to when I’m having a rough parenting moment, day, month, whatever, is my mother. I mean, she’s been there, she’s my best friend, and she’ll love me and my kids even if we are bonkers. She’s a safe and supportive outlet. It is NOT uncommon for my motherly rants to my mother to include huffing and puffing followed by a, “Sorry for everything I did as a kid Mom,” or “Thank you for not killing me as a child.” I mean it’s light hearted, but really. She gives me hope that I will come out the other end sane.
It’s too funny how often I think about what I’m going through in the rough moments, or on the rough days, and think, “Did I do this to MY parents?” Sometimes that spurs on a random text to my mom thanking her for keeping me alive all those years. She’s the best. That’s all there is to it. She did her best, just like we all are trying to do, and I’m thankful for her every day.
I know that not everyone is blessed to have an awesome mom that they adore. Some of us are hurting because of those relationships. But I still feel like becoming parents ourselves will always change the way we see our own parents, no matter the circumstances. It may be positive, negative, or maybe somewhere in between, but something shifts with these new experiences. For me, personally, it has me turning to her to truly thank her for all that she did for me as a child and beyond.
Leave a Reply